In Tax Overhaul, Trump Tries to Defy the Economic Odds

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/20/business/economy/tax-bill-economy.html

DECEMBER 21, 2017.  On the same day that congress passes a $1.5 Trillion Tax Plan, the head of FEMA announced that if 2017 is the new normal, Americans will be largely on their own. As reported on CNN, FEMA director Greg Long says, “"Americans are the true first responders, We’ve gotta get back to the basics, and teach people tangible skills, not only how to do CPR and first aid but to shut off your house gas lines or water lines after a disaster. We’ve gotta get people to save money. They need their own rainy day account.“

And, now that congress has passed this massive tax legislation that most experts believe will lead to a huge increase in the deficit over the next 10 years, he’s probably right. Not to mention, since the trump administration does not believe in climate change and therefor not in climate change mediation efforts, the new normal may bring us even larger disasters and more frequently than this particular banner year. 

On a sunnier note, thanks to this new tax bill, the super rich will find themselves in even better shape to confront future storms that may cross their path. Their rainy day funds are flush.

"TRUMP IS SWORN IN, VOWING TO REMAKE NATION: ‘THIS AMERICAN CARNAGE STOPS RIGHT HERE’"

from— NYT January 20, 2017

Donald Trump Bids GOP “Vaya Con Dios”

Secures Funding from Mexico for Presidential Race

Billionaire extraordinaire, Donald Trump, has solved his funding problem as he becomes the presumptive GOP presidential nominee.  In a singular dealmaking stroke of genius, Trump has enlisted the aid of the Mexican government to fund his campaign once he is officially crowned at the convention in July. 

In return, Trump has promised that he will only seek from Mexico, 50% of the cost to build the wall (a steal).  Now estimated to cost around 50 billion, it is substantially greater than his previous 14 billion figure offered earlier in the campaign. When asked about the new figure, Trump again emphasized his determination to build not just any wall, but a “great” wall that Americans can be proud of. 

He volunteered further, if allowed to use undocumented workers he could probably shave about 12 billion off the final cost. 

The other concession granted to Enrique Peña Nieto, the President of Mexico, that while campaigning, Trump would wear a T-shirt that reads:  “I truly love the Mexican people —you know, the ones that aren’t criminals, rapists and drug dealers”. 

Russian Military Scientists Unleash 12-Foot Arachnid (Spider)

Code-named “Donald Trump”:  Giant Lab Spider Incites Panic

NOVEMBER 6, 2016.  According to the National Enquirer, their stealth investigative unit in Moscow has uncovered a Russian Genetic Engineering project hitherto unbeknownst to the West. 

Code-named “Donald Trump” presumably for Russian President Vladimir Putin’s genuine fondness for Trump, who has stated: “next to Steven Seagal, the greatest living American actor of all time, I also consider Donald Trump my true American friend.” He praised Trump for being a “business genius” and one whose ideas are instantly recognizable as—”a real American original”.

The Gdansk trauma and psychiatric clinic has filled to the brim with psychotic patients who witnessed the gigantic arachnid up-close. Fortunately, the spokesman for the clinic, Wold Wramorchz (pronounced in english: “Ben Carson”), says that their state of the art electro-shock and lobotomy care unit will restore these patients to full mental health.

In a connected though somewhat unrelated fashion, Putin has issued an unusual decree. It appears that the Cyrillic alphabet that corresponds to the English alphabetic letter “ T ” is silent in Russian. Putin has decreed the “Tee” sound added to that formerly silent character in order to restore the full grandeur in the Russian pronunciation of Donald Trump.

As for the spider, the arachnid has been captured and returned to a heavily fortified Russian compound located near the Turkish border, behind a very tall and well-built wall.

Japan Vote Strengthens Shinzo Abe’s Goal to Change Constitution

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/11/world/asia/japan-vote-parliamentary-elections.html

JULY 10, 2016.  As though we don’t have enough violence in the world! Now, Japan may be edging closer to restarting its military program that has been dormant since the end of World War Two. How will a rearmed Japan make the world a safer place?

Tyson Foods’ Secret Recipe for Carving Up Workers’ Comp

https://www.propublica.org/article/tyson-foods-secret-recipe-for-carving-up-workers-comp

DECEMBER 23, 2015.  A company that not just turns its back on their own workers, but viciously turns against them. This is the moral equivalent of the pharmaceutical ceo that artificially jacked up the price overnight of a lifesaving drug by many thousands of percent. How about a justice department investigation into undue influence and corruption charges?

Pay up or go to jail: how a Mississippi town resurrected the debtors' prison

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/21/mississippi-debtors-prison-poverty-lawsuit?

OCTOBER 22, 2015.  Pay up or go to jail: how a Mississippi town resurrected the debtors’ prison